


Breaking Through

by hbomba



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 10:22:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hbomba/pseuds/hbomba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unexpected visit on an anniversary sees Bo and Lauren settle a few things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Through

__

“Burning the midnight oil again, Dr. Lewis?” Henry the lab tech asked her as he slid into his coat.

Lauren looked up from the microscope she’d had her face buried in for months and smiled congenially.

When the last of the techs had left the lab, Lauren let herself relax. She had spent hundreds of hours after her staff had gone home in the lab over the past six months. She had no reason to rush home, there was nobody waiting for her since she let Bo slip away. Lauren sighed. She had made a lot of mistakes in her life but she had learned from each one. This whole idea of a break with no parameters was utterly foolish. Lauren lived her life by the rules of science while Bo lived hers by the rules of engagement. They were vastly different and though Lauren was raised to follow the rules and Bo was made to break them, they both understood what the break meant.

It meant no more intimacy, no solace from the storms of daily life, but more than anything, to Lauren it meant an absence of feeling. When Lauren learned to suppress her love for Bo, something inside of her shut down and she couldn’t feel anything anymore. That wasn’t to say her heart didn’t ache whenever she had contact with Bo but beyond that she was living in the void. Simply existing, wasting her life away with the Fae. She only had the work now. And it was all-consuming. Each day was the same, questing for the big discovery and coming up short but it was the rote memorization of this experience that kept Lauren‘s anxiety down. 

Lauren covered her mouth with the back of her hand and yawned. She checked her watch. It was late, the day was almost over. Satisfied with that, Lauren shed her lab coat and headed home.  
__

The figure froze at the sound of the key in the lock. It may not have been their intention to scare Lauren but that’s exactly what happened when Lauren only saw the silhouette in the dimly lit loft.

“Jesus!” Lauren exclaimed, flipping on the light.

Bo held up her hands. “Just me.”

“Bo? What are you doing here?” The void released a flood of emotion to Lauren’s chest.

“I brought you dinner.” Bo motioned to the brown paper bag on the counter like Vanna White and smiled at her.

“I don’t understand.” Lauren’s heart raced. She hadn’t prepared for seeing Bo again and felt awkward and incongruent.

“It’s your birthday, Lauren.” Bo’s expression grew sad. “You didn’t forget your own birthday, did you?

Lauren had made note of the date earlier in the day but had completely forgotten it was her birthday by lunchtime. Over the years she had become accustomed to failed and forgotten celebrations. As a result she never much cared for her birthday. It was easier to go on not expecting anything from anyone than being continually disappointed. Except with Bo. She always remembered and she always made a big deal about it. She just didn’t expect her to do so this year. Not after what had happened. 

“I know how busy you‘ve been. I just thought we were both in a place where we could be alone together.”

“Yeah.” Lauren smiled. She was completely unready to be alone with Bo, but there’s no amount of self-knowledge that was going to stop her from doing so.

So when could she call the break off and rush into Bo’s arms without seeming weak or feeble? Truth was she had been ready to call it off months ago but couldn’t give a reason for the change of heart other than the simple fact that she missed Bo. Nothing had changed, she still had doubts regarding Bo’s fidelity and Bo had yet to prove that she was ready to make Lauren a priority. Until tonight. How had she remembered in spite of everything?

Lauren walked past Bo to the brown paper bag. “What‘s for dinner?”

Bo perked up. “Sushi extravaganza,” she said. “All your favorite rolls from an old haunt.” 

Her mouth watered. Lauren knew immediately where she spoke of. Mt. Fuji, with its tatami rooms and the best miso soup she had ever tasted. She remembered holding hands across the table in the middle of winter, the drafty window in the tatami room doing little for their warmth. But they were so much in love and Lauren never thought they’d end up here.

“Please tell me there is miso soup.” Lauren approached the bag but Bo held up a finger.

Bo rummaged around in the bag and pulled out two Styrofoam bowls. 

“My hero,” Lauren smiled at the other woman.  
__

Lauren laughed. She was warmed through from the sake Bo brought to accompany a dangerous sushi spread. Her smile lingered as she looked into Bo’s eyes, sparkling with excitement. They had a free and easy dialogue going and Lauren felt alive again, if not a little tipsy. 

“So then Kenzi punches this guy in his junk…” Bo continued to regale her with tales of war but Lauren could only sit rapt, a smile still gracing her features. “And this guy was huge and Kenzi just drops him…“ Bo sat up and reached out for the bottle of sake. She filled their glasses, offering one to Lauren before clinking her own against it and throwing it back. “Sorry, am I talking about my cases too much?”

“No,” Lauren said, still all smiles. “It’s nice. I’ve missed your stories.” Bo looked away. Lauren could tell that a few syllables had made her uncomfortable. “Can I get a refill?” she waggled her glass for effect.

Bo smiled and lifted the waning sake bottle off the coffee table. A few deft movements later and they were toasting once again. Lauren looked over her drink at her and telegraphed the contentment and affection she felt for Bo. A few minutes later the last shot had gone straight to her head. She wore a permanent blush from her chest to her cheeks and she was fairly certain that she could no longer feel her nose. She was blissfully drunk.

It was apparent that Bo had taken notice some time ago but continued to feed her sake at intervals giving Lauren a sort of false hope that maybe, just maybe Bo was there to reconcile. 

“This is…” Lauren trailed off, considering her words carefully. “…easily the best birthday I’ve had since last year.” An eerie calm settled over her as she remembered when Bo took her to see Contact at the drive in. How they had huddled beneath a blanket together on the hood of the Camaro and drank whiskey from a flask to stay warm.

“You never could hold your liquor,” Bo smiled and laid a hand on Lauren’s knee.

Bo was referring to Lauren’s hour-long sentimental ranting about Carl Sagan and what he had done for science at large. Between the movie and the rant, Bo had learned a few things. 

“Isn’t that all part of your plan?” Lauren covered the hand on her knee. 

“Lauren…” Bo’s tone warned her off.

“Bo…” She imitated, albeit drunkenly.

“I have something for you.” Bo stood abruptly and walked into the kitchen. Try as she might, Lauren couldn’t see what she was up to so she leaned over and poured herself another glass of sake. A warm glow emanated from the kitchen as Bo turned and slowly walked a birthday cake with a single candle toward Lauren.

Her smile was back and she couldn’t disguise it for anything other than what it was. A full heart. Or love as some might call it. The void had spilled open and Lauren was flourishing. “You’ve thought of everything.”

“Blow out your candle,” Bo prompted.

Lauren looked at the cake and then back at Bo. She was thirty-four this year but not above wishing upon a birthday candle. She closed her eyes and blew out the candle. When she opened her eyes, she peered at Bo through the haze. Her eyes drifting to the cake again, her name was embossed on it in perfect cursive amidst rosettes and icing ropes.

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you were trying to get in my pants.”

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you wanted to let me in them.”

Her fight was gone. She couldn’t pretend that the break was a solution that was working for them any longer. She also couldn’t fall into bed with Bo just because she bought her a birthday cake. And sushi. And sake. Christ, Lauren thought.

Bo reached out for her, fingertips feathering against her hair. Lauren bowed her head and smiled shyly. 

“Bo,” Lauren said again. What was the rest of that sentence? She only knew Bo’s name as a mantra, a love song that she knew all the words to. So it was no surprise when Bo spoke again. 

“So, tell me doctor,” Bo cocked her head to the side. “Did you get everything you wanted for your birthday?” 

Lauren closed her eyes and hesitated before answering. “Almost.” When she opened them, she caught Bo stealing a glance.

“Is this because I didn’t get you a present?” Bo smirked.

A laugh left Lauren as a whoosh of air. She shook her head, smiling. “No.” Bo’s hand was on her arm now, caressing the skin carefully. Lauren exhaled. “What are we doing?”

“Just let it happen.” Bo whispered.

They had fallen back into that easy holding pattern. The one that said, this is it, this is for you everything else be damned. And Lauren wanted to believe it, even if it was a lie, she would hold it true because this was what she wanted. Bo is what she wanted.

Bo leaned across the gap between them and gently pressed her lips against Lauren’s. It was a chaste kiss but she was cracked wide open. Her heart told a story, it said I’m home and I’m never leaving again and she didn’t want it to end either. So when Bo pulled away and recoiled to the other end of the couch again, Lauren was far more disappointed than she had been that morning when her birthday went unnoticed once again. No, this transcended expectations and anniversaries. This was love lost, squashed and packed away coming alive. Against all odds they had found each other again and Lauren couldn’t even consider a reason for destroying it all once more. 

“Bo.” Her name, a plea, was scarcely out of her mouth before Bo silenced her with another kiss, a slow burn on her lips and tongue. 

There was a time when Lauren would have resisted Bo’s advances. When she would have let her go because she was too proud to admit what she really wanted. But not tonight. Tonight she would crawl into Bo’s lap, thread her fingers through her hair and kiss her back. She would kiss her like her life depended on it because it did. Bo had shown her the way. She was free from the void at last. She shook Lauren from her slumber and reminded her why life was worth living. And Lauren had pushed her away.

Bo pushed back and Lauren fell backwards onto the couch with a laugh. Bo’s smile lit up the room as she descended on her. Her lips were at her throat, her hands on her hips, slipping her shirt up her sides.

Bo‘s breath was hot against her ear. “Mmm, I missed you.”

Lauren let her head fall back, smiling at that. Her heart pounded in her chest. This was really happening. It was Bo’s hands unzipping her pants and sliding them off her hips, it was Bo’s lips inching along her jaw line, it was her tongue tracing her lips and it was her foot that accidentally cleared Lauren‘s coffee table with one swift kick. Overwhelmed by the scent of her skin, Lauren’s head swam. Between the sake and Bo’s proximity she was having a hard time focusing on anything beyond the circle of Bo’s arms. 

“What do you want?” Bo breathed.

“You.”

“What do you want? Bo repeated. 

Lauren knew what Bo was asking. She was also fairly confident that Bo knew what she wanted, she just wanted to hear Lauren say it. She wrapped her fingers around the back of Bo’s neck and pulled her down to her lips and held her at bay. “Shut up and fuck me.”

The delight that echoed in Bo’s throat made her smile again. The fingers slipping into her panties, however, made her groan. She clung to Bo’s shoulders, her mouth falling open against her collarbone as the fingers between her legs coaxed a moan from her lips.

Lauren gnashed her teeth as Bo’s knuckles brushed against her. A shiver traveled up her spine. It was just like Bo to tease the hell out of her, even when there was a certain haste about their encounter. Bo sat back on the wooden coffee table she had inadvertently cleared earlier and pulled Lauren’s hips toward her.

It was mere moments later when Bo, pulling her panties aside, sunk into her. The gasp that escaped her lips fuelled the fire brewing in Bo’s eyes. This was a homecoming, a revival and a renaissance and Bo was making her tremble with her touch.

Bo’s mouth covered hers roughly and Lauren reached into Bo‘s pants. Her frantic caresses made Bo grunt with effort. Gasping for air, her pace hastened. Bo laid a hand between her breasts and Lauren sat up to meet her lips. This hungry clash of mouths ignited a desire that had been left unattended for far too long.

Bo’s finger swept over her, into her and she swallowed hard. She moved once, twice, three times and Lauren was lost. Her body was rocked with emotion. There was no crying, no remorse or shame. Only Bo’s hips grinding into her palm, her fingers still pressing into her, her teeth biting her lip and kissing her hard. Bo towered above Lauren as her hips rocked insistently against her. Bo’s head lulled to the side, her hair cascading over her shoulders as her mouth opened to allow a moan to escape. Her body rolled with each crushing wave of orgasm and Lauren eagerly watched each shudder pass through her.

When Bo looked down at Lauren she couldn’t disguise the joy that she felt. Lauren withdrew her hand and Bo crumpled onto the couch beside her. A few silent minutes passed as they each caught their breath and Lauren pulled her shirt over her head. Bo held her hand, alternating threading their fingers together and playing with the digits. Still, Lauren was surprised when she spoke.

“Best birthday ever or dreaded ex sex?” Bo asked her.

Lauren smiled. “Well, I suppose if I had to choose--”

“Don’t be like that.” Bo swatted her arm playfully.

“You were never my ex,” Lauren started. 

“Lauren, what are we doing?” Bo’s expression grew serious.

“In all the time we’ve spent apart, I never stopped loving you.” Bo moved to speak, but Lauren hushed her. “And I know it’s the same for you but we haven’t fixed anything. And more than anything, I want that to change.”

“I do, too,” Bo agreed eagerly.

“So how do we fix this?” Lauren asked.

“Maybe we don’t. Maybe we just start over and try again.”

She was too tired of arguing and there were no heroes in this war of attrition. Bo had screwed up but Lauren never gave her the chance to fix things and if she could only set aside the pain, they could move forward. Lauren took a deep breath and nodded. 

“So the break is over?” Bo asked the silent Lauren.

She smiled. “Yes.”

“Good, because I got you a present.” Lauren looked on as Bo rummaged through the pockets of her leather jacket draped over the side of the couch before returning and sitting on the coffee table once again.

“What did you do?” Lauren asked.

“I bought this for you before--” Bo started, revealing a small velvet ring box cupped in her hands.

“Bo,” her voice but a whisper.

Bo set the box in Lauren’s hand. “Open it.” 

The box creaked as Lauren opened it to reveal a gold band studded with diamonds and inlaid with sapphires. It was a modest ring, but she was speechless just the same.

Bo removed the ring from the box and slid it onto Lauren’s finger. “I promise to be the one to make you happy.”

Tears welled in Lauren’s eyes. She felt like she had been through the an emotional wringer. Hours ago Bo had walked back into her life, fed her dinner and birthday cake, made love to her and gave her a ring. It was a lot to take in. A lot to quantify, for Lauren did not measure days gone by with a subjective scale like emotions. Her scientific brain was always calculating integers and scenarios. She never thought they’d end up here, half-dressed and half-messed on her couch amidst their afterglow, turning the ring over and over on her finger.

As the ring spun around her finger, so did her thoughts. In fact, they traversed the very landscape of their relationship. She had forgiven Bo and forgiven herself. They were no longer stagnating, moving forward now toward something Lauren never fully believed was possible: commitment not rife with complications. Of course, she knew there would always be something to challenge them, but she also knew that she was ready for the test when the time came. Lauren had made a lot of mistakes in her life and she had learned from each one but tonight she had made one right.  
__

Fin.


End file.
